Contradictions within

Yes, that's what I am feeling most days now. A part of me wants to get really aggressive and look for a call, any call, any type, any where and just find work and get back to being busy - working, serving, and 'doing' life. At the same time a part of me is saying, "be calm and continue enjoying the free time God has given you," support Will in his ministry and enjoy this time of no-business. So, I pray. God is not speaking to me in ways that I want him to. But then when did he ever? He always answers my questions and prayers- I know. There was not one prayer I made that God did not answer. Am I praying the right prayers? of course, there is no wrong prayer. Lenten season continues and, as I travel on this journey of Lent, I continue to pray and listen to what God is saying......I pray and hope that I will hear Him when He speaks to me. Here is my prayer for the day: Psalms 119:10-18 With my whole heart I seek you: do not let me stray from your commandments. I treasure your Word in my heart, so that I may not sin against you. Blessed are you, O Lord; teach me your statues. With my lips I declare all the ordinances of your mouth. I delight in the way of your decrees as much as in all riches. I will mediate on your precepts, and fix my eyes on your ways. I will delight in your statues; I will not forget your Word. Deal bountifully with your servant, so that I may live and observe your Word. Open my eyes, so that I may behold wondrous things out of your law.