My friend Terry King

Today at 2 p.m. there was a memorial service for my dear dear friend Terry King, (my first NASA engineer friend) in Columbia, MD. At the same time I was participating in a memorial service for one of my newer friends and parishioner Mark Jenkins here in Houston,TX. Mark too was a NASA engineer. I was sad that Mark died but he fought cancer for 14 years. In so many ways I am glad for Mark that the pain and frustration ended for him and he is safe in God's house. I don't feel the same about Terry, he was killed in a car crash in southern CA while he was there for work (NASA that is). Some young teen-age driver was the reason. I am still in shock and disbelieve. Terry was a man who was more like a big brother. I met him at my first Church back in 1992, in Columbia, MD. He was a very active part of what was "Young Adult Fellowship". We were young then. I joined them right in as it was my age group people. Most of us were single and we had a lot of good times together. I remember worship at the church, eating out at restaurants, cook out at George's (which was way beyond the blue from town), Bible studies, and more parties in the weekends. Taking turns we hosted, we ate, we laughed, we talked, we laughed some more, we planned for the next fun event. Once we went on a weekend-long retreat in the winter and - besides the serious sessions - we took walks and played in the snow as though we were little children, and we played practical joke on each other (girls vs guys that was). I remember all the baseball caps Terry collected and displayed on the back of all his furniture in the living room. They are from all over the places. The big fish tank and all the happy beautiful fish in it. His dog Shemp...he loved them all so very much. The beautiful flower garden he grew each summer and the vegetables. He was from St. Louis and a beer drinker who tried many times to teach me to like beer and failed. Terry took up a new hobby of grilling on his back porch and grilled the best steak, chicken and corn. We were always happy to be his guests. I remember when he found out how close we lived to each other, he cooked up some more fun for us to do - like sitting by a lake listening to the musicians play in the summer nights - sitting on a blanket looking up the stars at night with a big container of pop corn and beer for him and diet coke for me. I remember Terry telling me all about NASA stuff that I never understood. I remember our walks on the walking path behind his house talking and listening to one another. He would tell me what is going to launch when and where or 'mission' this and that. I did not understand much but I loved listening to and watching Terry because he was so happy with what he was doing. When I had to move to Delaware, Terry packed me in the moving van and drove me along with George and Brian to my new home. With Ryan and Margaret he came to visit me on the 4th of July weekend and we went to explore the Amish country. Terry loved to buy us food and ice cream and things like that. He was generous with his money and his time. When we did not see each other, we talked on the phone forever. I never spent nights at any bachelor's home but I did at Terry's - more than once. It was more like staying at the home of your big brother who would play with you and spoil you. We pretended to be at the movie theatre and watched movies in his living room with pop corn and drinks. One thanksgiving we cooked a Turkey and most of the trimming for the young adult friends. He was such an engineer and so precise, we must have called his mom 20 times during the day. Of course the meal was delicious. One night he made me watch "Meet Me in St. Louis" twice with him. That was not fun - but he thought it was!!! He left ST. Louis for work but it never left him. We played billiards and he had no problem beating me each time. I called him "mean" and he told me to "play better." He came to my ordination service in Delaware and took me to dinner to celebrate. My family was so far away and could not come. Many friends came and stayed through the reception and all left. Terry stayed behind to make sure I had a proper family celebration with a dinner at the Stake and Ale. He made me eat the finest steak they served and a glass of wine. He had beer (what else)! he was like that-always thought of things like that no one would think of. I knew that I would have cried in missing home that night if Terry had not been there with me. He was a kind friend. Terry came to my wedding in Columbus, OH along with Ryan, Brian and George. They made me drink beer and eat stuff they brought the night before my wedding. They stayed way past midnight, my friend Bridget had to chase them out of my house. We laughed, talked, ate and drank. Most brides would be with their girl friends but I was with 4 guys and Bridget. My best friends they were and I was very happy. They stood up as my family at the wedding and Terry did just that. He got to know my husband and was supportive of our marriage. We went up to MD to visit him some too. Having Terry in life was a great thing. He was not only a friend in times of need but also in good times and joyful times. Terry visited me everywhere I had lived except Kentucky. He really did not want to come to Kentucky- I don't know why. He said that he would help Will plan a big party for my 50th birthday even if it is in Kentucky. When email came to life- we started to email instead of phone calling. It was fun to read his emails. They were a little like news paper, a little like a diary, a little like a comedy, a little like a Bible study and a little like a Church history lesson. We wrote to each other a few times since we moved to Houston,TX. I told him I am finally among his kind of people (NASA) that he should come to visit. I feel cheated that is not going to happen now. Every year he send a year-end report with his great trips with excited words and wonderful pictures. I will miss those. This evening at the Bible study class the teacher asked "do you ever feel God is not there?" I waned to say, "yes, because I don't know where God was when Terry was in that terrible accident caused by the 17 year old driver in CA". I decided not to say it out loud. Today, there was a memorial service for my dear dear friend Terry King who went home to God way too soon, and I was not there. I think of Terry every day and I thank God for giving me a friend in him. Once in a blue moon I will be drinking beer just remembering my friend and big brother Terry.