"I thank my God every time I remember you,"

Yesterday afternoon I came away from a meeting feeling absolutely aweful and embrassed for having spoken what's in my mind and heart so openly.  Someone challenged me of being an introverted person.  I don't think this person and (perhaps a few others in that room) believed me when I said I am actually an introverted person who learned to work as an extrovert and loving it. I came away from that meeting feeling sank in my heart.  Feeling alone.  Feeling like an outsider.  Feeling pitied.  Feeling isolated.  Feeling full of regret for what I had said to contribute to the topic we were discussing.

If they only knew about the long path of my trainning to work as an extrovert and all the emberrasing moments and struggles I went through.... with the help of many saints in the Church God gave me as my teachers and mentors. 

I was born very shy, quiet painfully introverted a person to appoint that I used to think there was somethign wrong with me for not being able to speak or eat or drink anything infront of others.  

Now, I sit on my chair on this day off of mine reflecting back on my entire life, I reamember a few of those saints I call my friends.  I miss them so very much.  I wonder what they would have to say about my experience of yesterday afternoon.

Today:

I remember my friend Sue Mooney very very much.  She now is at home with God.  Besides mothere Teresa while I was young, Sue was the one who taught me how to visit people who are sick, dying, and their family members as a pastor.  She took me on visitation days with her.  She was such a great teacher I did not know I was learning so very much.  We giggled and laughed and talked and some times stopped for lunch.  We changed drity bed sheets of someone who had had diarea, we wiped dirty faces, we hugged those who were alone and lonely and old, we some times stroke the very few dirty hair on a very sick old person's head.  We talked with each of them and prayed with them.  We sometimes sat in their living room with their family members and talked about what the future may hold.  We cleaned dirty sink and did dishes.

I remember Bob Ramage, an elder and the clark of sessin at Overbrook Presbyterian Church, Columbus, OH when I was there as the first time ordained pastor to serve as an associate pastor.  Bob taught me how to moderate the session and took me around to serve communion to the home bound members for the first time.  He taught me how to serve those who are at home.  I still practice it the same way Bob taught me back in 1995.  Every Sunday he stood at the door of the sanctuary and told me, "you are OK kiddo".  That gave me encouragement and bravery as walked into the sanctuary ranning along with long legged senior pastor Bill.

I remember Ralph Huggins, one of the deacons who taught me how to look up as I walked out of the sanctuary at the end of each worship service.  I was so shy that I would walk with my head down looking at my own toes.  Ralph made me look up at his chin and his smile.  Even last Sunday I was still looking Ralph's chin here at Church of the Palms in Sarasota, Fl while Ralph still lives in Columbus, OH.  It is only Ralph's chin and smile that helps me able to look up as I walk out of the sanctuary each Sunday.

Oh, yes, I very much remember my first and favorite mentor the Reverend Bill Leety.  He taught me just about all that I know about how to be a pastor.  From giving me self confidence to how to deal with crisis- Bill taught me.  He taught me how to trust God.  He taught me to believe that God does not call me because I am qualified but God qualifices me as I serve Him and his people in response to his call.  He taught me that the people and the interruptions are our call and our work.  Bill taught me that worship is NOT a performance but worshipping God.

I do remember Mrs. Grey who taught me how to behave like a lady pastor,  Myra who taught me how to shop,  Jo Ellen who taught me how to tell funny stories of llittle children, and Roger Davis who taught me how to watch out for myself.

I remember John Coffin, the pasrish associate at Harvery Browne Presbyterian Church, Louisville, KY who taught me the rest of the trade in how to be a congregational care pastor.  I miss John Roper my senior pastor for 10 years for teaching me how to laugh, how to make people laugh, how to be approachable by all.  

I remember my father who was my very first teacher of all things in life.  He managed to teach me even in my very painfully shy days not to take myself so seriously and how to laugh at myself.  

I am so grateful for all the saints God has given me in my life to teach me how to come out of my shell and serve God's people according to their needs.  And by God's grace I even enjoy living and serving as an extroverted person as long as I have a recharging days like today.

So, I am ramblling about how much I miss some of God's saints I am privileged to call my mentors and friends.  There are more of them but these are the few that I miss most today.  Needless to say, "I miss them" so very much.

I remember and thank God for the the above mentioned saints just tlike the aposlte Paul said in Phillippians 1:3,  "I thank my God every time I remember you,".